Gender and sex

Gender and sex, terms that could be used interchangeably without representing a clear conceptual difference, referred respectively to the social and biological differences between males and females and others, and, particularly in the case of gender, masculinity and femininity. However, gender and sex being binary was not a steadfast rule, as there were a range of possibilities that didn't correspond to this binary notion.

Gender
Some individuals, like the herbalist Fala Lefaliir, did not identify as either masculine or feminine. Beholders were an example of a species whose members generally did not identify as any gender.

For some individuals, their sex and gender did not align, making them feel uncomfortable with their own body or trapped within it. Such individuals were referred to on another world as being transgender, while in the Realms they were called alun in Elvish, dezek in Orcish, jertrut in Jotun, thoulal in Gnomish, thulol in Dwarvish, urdesk in Goblin, and zalshaer in Halfling.

Transgender individuals typically sought out methods by which to change their biological sex. Such a thing had no stigma surrounding it and those in this state of gender transitioning were referred to in Common as poised in the Western Heartlands and the Sword Coast, as well as along their trade routes to Chessenta and Sembia, though the term might not be known in other lands.

An individual might achieve this change by using magic or (if not gifted in the art) hiring a wizard, providing offerings to a temple so that its priests may pray for their god to transform your body, or a magic item like the girdle of masculinity/femininity. For example, the cantrip hairy could be used to grow or prevent a beard,  letting a female wear a genuine beard. And the goddess Sharess was said to be capable of changing a mortal's sex with just a kiss. Those who finished transitioning were sometimes referred to in Common as sildur.

Biological Sex
Some creatures were able to switch their sex at a whim, such as kobolds (though it occured slowly, over the course of months), most tanar'ri, verdans, and yugoloths. Kobolds lacked assigned gender roles in their societies and yugoloths only identified as a gender depending upon the situation they were in and how they were viewed.

Other creatures were noted as being sexless, such as balhannoths, beholders, chakchaks, choldriths, driders, illithids, lemures, malaugryms, neogi, nupperibos, and most constructs, like modrons and the warforged. However, being sexless biologically did not preclude such creatures from personally identifying in a social sense as either a man or woman. Warforged and malaugryms for example were known to adopt and identify as certain genders. Choldriths chose to identify as women, after their goddess Lolth. When rogue, modrons might choose to identify as a certain gender, such as the weapon merchant Zess who identified as a woman. And in rare circumstances, a creature that had undergone ceremorphosis to become an illithid might retain enough of their memories to identify as their former gender, such as the mind flayer Vestress.

A unique example of a sexless species were the aberrations known as grell. Once reaching adulthood, a grell could choose to develop male characteristics and mate with others, who in turn temporarily developed female characteristics. Such a choice was only made by one in every five grell. While these female grell would revert to a sexless state after laying their eggs, male grell could not reverse their bodily changes.

Those who were castrated or neutered were typically referred to in Common as shorn-thorn or thornless. These were not considered to be pejorative terms. Throughout the varied cultures and religions in the Realms, the practice of neutering was only known to be conducted (if ever) upon males. Neutering was typically done through magical means, though in rural areas it might be accomplished by cutting out the male testes and then cauterizing the wound. In some cultures of the Realms, a castrated male who typically served as a guard was referred to as a "eunuch",  though such individuals were rare in the Realms. Eunuchs could be found in Calimshan, Mulhorand, and Zakhara.

Some species were "hermaphroditic", meaning both biologically male and female, while in other cases an individual of a species might be born that way. When referring to such individuals in Common, the non-pejorative term typically used was two-thorn.

Species that were naturally hermaphroditic included aboleths, gulguthras, haundar, leeches and giant leeches, lock lurkers, mortiss, piercers, starsnakes, tentamorts, webbirds, wingless wonders, and xantravars.

Nagas were also a hermaphroditic species, but other creatures tended to view and refer to them as being either male or female. Similarly, the genderless and sexless beholderkin known as hive mothers were so named by misinformed adventurers.

Personal Pronouns
Men and women were typically referred to by the pronouns "he" and "him" and "she" and "her", respectively. Some people who were neither men nor women would request of others to refer to them as "they". Creatures of a collective consciousness, such as cranium rats, might refer to themselves with collective pronouns like "we" and "us".

In Thieves' cant, the word "Ti" acted as a genderless term for referring to someone who was a man, woman, or something else. When referring to genderless objects in Common, the term all-moon was typically used. And when referring to individuals the speaker didn't know the gender of they might speak of them as "one", like when saying for example, “There were three Sembian ones that asked if I had any more chamberpots for sale."

In Societies In General
For most societies in the Realms, there was no bias in roles on the basis of sex or gender. While many human societies tended to have women occupy a domestic role, people exhibited little to no resistance when a woman chose to occupy a position of leadership or sought to become a proficient magic-user. Nevertheless, depending on the species, some professions were more common among certain sexes because of the body weight and strength that were involved, such as fighting, rowing, and smithing.

Cultures where there was equality among the sexes looked down upon those who believed one should oppress the other.

Cross-dressing
Some individuals in the Realms presented themselves as the opposite sex or gender, such as by dressing in clothing that was typically associated with it, body padding, false or magical beards, and false strap-on bosoms&mdash;these were molded cages, holding watertight storage bladder (customarily filled with several towels) and covered in cloth painted a flesh-hue. Examples included the beautician Talessyr Tranth, the conjurer Jerrod Korbandor, and the Harper agents Shalar Simgulphin, Coril,  and Tracker. Such people were referred to in Common as saece. In the Sword Coast North, warriors of either gender who dressed as the opposite (often for the purpose of acquiring a job) were often referred to as winkhelms.

In the city of Waterdeep, some festhalls employed individuals who cross-dressed for the purpose of entertainment. The city was also home to a social club of nobles and wanna-be nobles called The Lace Harp, which became largely preoccupied with the activity of crossdressing by the late 1370's DR.

Sex workers in the Realms were sometimes known to crossdress for a variety of reasons, including simply because they enjoyed it. Male sex workers that crossdressed were often known as glimmersheaths, though that term was also used to refer to beautiful prostitutes in general. Female sex workers who disguised themselves as men for the purpose of hiding their identity, or for protection from the law and those who disapproved of sex work, were often referred to as slyblades.

Among shield dwarves, women who frequently traveled or "wandered" the Realms would frequently pass themselves off as the opposite gender, by dressing like male dwarves, growing and braiding a beard, adopting a deeper voice, becoming fluent in cursing, being more aggressive in battle, and even flirting with other female dwarves. This could be because in human cities they tended to garner better treatment than visibly female dwarves or to avoid the unwanted advances of wandering male shield dwarves, who were avid in finding a mate in light of their race's centuries-long decline towards near-extinction, though such behavior likely lessened over time as a result of the Thunder Blessing.

Titles of Address
There were a variety of titles used to refer to people regardless of their gender. These included the following:
 * Druid, warlocks, and wizards were typically referred to by those titles regardless of their sex or gender, with "wizardess" only used in archaic titles. However, it was not uncommon for people to see a female wizard or sorcerer referred to as a "sorceress".
 * When someone addressed a wizard of uncertain skill, they used the term "Master of Art" regardless of their sex or gender, or "Lord of Art" or "Lady of Art" with regard to sex or gender. Some older speakers might say "Lady Master of Art", and this was not offensive. while those known to be of low skill were referred to as hedge wizards.
 * The title of "Grand Duke" among the Council of Four in Baldur's Gate was a genderless honorific.
 * The title of "Lord" among the nobility of Mulmaster was a genderless honorific, while the male and female family members of Lords were referred to as "Zor" and "Zora", respectively.
 * The Red Wizards were addressed by the people of Thay as "Master" regardless of their sex or gender.

Religions
"It doesn’t matter that he's a man, of course. We gods can be whichever sex we choose.…"

- Mystra regarding a male interpretation of Sune.

Deities could be portrayed or believed by their followers to be male, female, masculine, feminine, or sexless. For example, the major members of the halfling pantheon were women, while the gnome pantheon was entirely made up of men. Deities themselves often preferred one gender over others, but could manifest as any. For example, even the normally feminine Lolth could be seen manifesting as a male and Deneir once manifested as a woman for a disguise before revealing himself.

Elves (with the exception of drow) often looked down upon those who believed their god to be of only one gender, viewing it as a narrow mindset to quantify gods in mortal terms. In turn, all members of the elven pantheon were represented in art by both male and female forms. For example, in Cormanthor, there were statues of the Seldarine in either both male and female forms or a single androgynous form.

When it came to clergy, most religions allowed individuals of any gender to become members, though some only allowed those of a particular gender. Due to long-standing traditions, the dwarven faiths, up until the Time of Troubles, required priests to be the same gender as the dwarven deity they served. This practice ceased following that event, though priests of the opposite gender were likely to receive some resentment. The churches of Marthammor and Thard Harr were exceptions to this, having broken from the tradition long before the Time of Troubles. In the nation of Wa, monasteries generally only allowed men, with those of Tsuyoi-no-kami being a notable exception to this rule.

Generally, the word "priest" was used as a gender-neutral term, however, the titles priest and priestess were often used interchangeably. In some cases, "priestess" was used to refer to members of a clergy that consisted of only women. The Church of Deneir was one such faith to use the term "priest" regardless of gender. Specialty priests more often had gendered terms, though some churches had genderless ones, such as the Dreadmasters of the Church of Bane, the Doommasters of the Church of Beshaba, the Joybringers of the Church of Lliira, and the Stormlords of the Church of Talos.

Some churches, while allowing a mix of genders in their clergy, had segregated ceremonies. For example, the Church of Lolth performed private ceremonies behind closed doors in which males were not allowed, but its public ceremonies allowed both men and women. In that female-dominated society, the Church of Vhaeraun stood out as advocates of the drow creating a society of equality between the sexes on the surface. Other faiths had women live in separate quarters, such as the Strong Claw Monastery, or in entirely separate buildings or temples, such as the Moralist faith.

Some faiths had priestly vestments differ depending upon a priest's sex. For example, the Church of Sune had men wear robes and women wear habits, both dyed crimson, while the Church of Beshaba had male priests wear robes of crimson and female priests wear robes of black, mauve, and purple.

Lamas of the Plain of Horses could be either male or female. Notably the city of Li-Raz, in an effort to curb the growth of lamas, encoded in their laws that a male lama could not speak to women in public.

Demihumans and Humanoids

 * Dragonborn societies generally had equality among the genders, and given their meritocratic and militaristic culture, the high ranking members of their societies were those dragonborn who had proven themselves capable of leading their fellows in battle, regardless of gender or sex.
 * Dwarven society generally had equal rights in both family and clan for all sexes and genders, once female dwarves moved into positions of power left open by failing clans. Notably, adventuring was once almost exclusively the province of male dwarves, but over time female dwarves became involved in the activity. By the 14 century DR, dwarf women had achieved equal opportunities and status in dwarven society. By that time, one could find all-male, all-female, and mixed bands of adventuring dwarves.
 * Gold dwarves had a long history of favoring female rulers.
 * Shield dwarves and their kingdoms in the the North were traditionally patriarchal, but their race's steady decline over the centuries left many to consider new ways of doing things.
 * Elven societies generally had equality among the genders, reflective of their pantheon the Seldarine.
 * Aquatic elves had largely patriarchal societies, though women held considerable influence, particularly among their clerics and wizards.
 * Drow (specifically the udadrow) typically lived in a militaristic matriarchal society due to the Church of Lolth. Though one could find some patriarchal or egalitarian societies among the drow that worshiped Vhaeraun, such as the cities of Dallnothax and Holldaybim respectively. Influenced by the Church of Lolth's dogma, men were largely considered by Drow societies to be inferior physically, mentally, and spiritually compared to women. These gender prejudices even extended to other creatures. Women meanwhile lorded over their male relatives and were afforded better opportunities. However, in the lowest ranks of drow society, both genders could be seen occupying the role of artisan, household servant, shopkeeper, and soldier. Their status in society inspired many male drow to excel, finding subtle and nontraditional roads to power. This was typically done through accomplishments in the magical field or in the military, though even then, most drow cities had a segregated army.
 * Green elves often had segregated villages that were governed by either a matriarchy or patriarchy, though some villages were jointly ruled by both men and women.
 * Deep gnomes had a strict division of labor along gender lines, with males largely engaged in mining and most females gathering and preparing food, raising children, and running homes, but they were dominant in their respective areas.
 * Tinker gnome society was noted as having equality among the sexes.
 * Goblinoids had patriarchal societies, where men held all the power and women were expected to stay home and raise as many young as possible. Women were generally not allowed to engage in a clan's battles or hunts. Because of this attitude, female goblinoids often left their clans and became adventurers in search of better opportunities.
 * Orcs had patriarchal societies where women were often relegated to the role of wife and servant, though sometimes an especially tough orc woman muscled her way into the army. Those who sought power within their community often turned to becoming adepts, clerics, or druids.

Giants

 * Among frost giants, there was no societal distinction made between men and women, with both being viewed equally under the ordning and the elderly of both handling child rearing.
 * Goliaths viewed men and women as being equals in all things. They did not tie one's birth name to their sex. And they were puzzled by, as well as mocked, societies that had gender roles.
 * Cyclopskin had patriarchal societies, where women were expected to be subservient to men.

Outsiders

 * Fiends had no strict conception of gender, often switching between referring to themselves as "him", "her", or "it."
 * Devils in particular were likely to adopt a gendered appearance that conformed to what a mortal expected. This was especially the case for devils that were fairly known to mortals, such as the Lords of the Nine Hells.
 * Among the predominant group of devils, the baatezu, society was roughly egalitarian and a baatezu's sex was assigned upon promotion by their superiors, based on what they believed that devil still needed to learn. The exception to this rule were the erinyes, who were an all-female species, as well as lemures and nupperibos, who were both genderless and sexless. When promoted into a pit fiend, a baatezu was allowed to choose whatever sex it desired, but could also decide later in life to change it.

Others

 * Grung typically lived in matriarchal communities, ruled by a female war chief, though some were led by a male king or chief.
 * Hai nu, a race of aquatic humanoids native to Kara-Tur, lived in matriarchal communities.
 * Ixzan communities made no distinctions between the genders in their caste system.
 * Kir-lanan made no social distinctions between sexes.
 * Kopru lived in small colonies governed by women.
 * Lizardfolk had patriarchal tribal societies, where women were in charge of maintaining camps and raising the hatchlings.
 * Locathah communities that were small in number had a patriarchal bent to them, but once any community of this race reached over a hundred members it gradually shifted into a matriarchy.

Among Humans
Humans typically seemed to provide equal opportunities to both males and females, though this could vary depending upon the ethnic group.

The Bedine tribes of Anauroch derived much of their gender norms from their ancient Zakharan ancestors, thus men generally had more freedom than women. It was permissible in Bedine society for men to closely approach women of another family, though it was considered "brazen" for women to do the same, even when riding a camel. Women were not permitted to speak privately with men of another family and marriages were arranged by fathers, though most tribes gave daughters the right to veto marriage choices. Bedine women who wielded magic were viewed as threats to the social order. Altogether, this left some women among the Bedine to desire greater independence and rumors circulated of tribes that were run by women or composed entirely of them.

The Marsh Drovers, the ethnic group of the Farsea Marshes, had a matriarchal culture. Yet much like patriarchal cultures, they had men and women strictly divided into the labor roles of hunter or herder and head of the household respectively.

During the 14 century DR, the Northlanders of the Moonshae Isles generally restricted their women from meeting with strangers. Nor did they normally allow women to fish or join in raids.

The Nubari of the Malatran Plateau were quite varied in their customs from tribe to tribe. Notably, the Huroola tribe permitted only its female members to wield any weapon of war or hunting, making them the tribe's hunters and warriors, and breaking this taboo was punishable by death. Because of this men had to contribute to villages by setting traps for small game and fishing with nets.

In the Great Glacier, the Nakulutiuns held all sexes in equal status and the Iulutiuns had no fixed gender roles, though men often tended to hunting while women raised children.

The Wu-haltai of the Northern Wastes were a fairly egalitarian people. In their culture women were consulted in all manners, but rarely played a leading role beyond that of a shaman.

Distinctions in Clothing & Hair

 * Abas were worn by all members of Bedine tribes, though women were made to cover their faces, except when alone with themselves or their spouse. The wearing of a veil for women in these tribes began at the onset of puberty, though sometimes earlier. An exception to this was the tribes that dwelled in the eastern central stretches of the Sword, as among them women went without veils and men covered their faces with scarves.
 * Drow of both genders typically wore their snow-white hair long.
 * Male and female dwarves often dressed in a similar manner of dress and had a similar tone of voice. This was especially true of arctic dwarves and wild dwarves.
 * In terms of hair, both genders among the gold dwarves, shield dwarves, urdunnir, and wild dwarves grew their hair out long.   Gold dwarves  and wild dwarves often had elaborately braided hair, with the latter weaving it into crude clothing.
 * Both genders among all dwarves regularly oiled, trimmed, perfumed, or shaved their beards. Shaving was most common among female dwarves, though they had no societal expectations to do so. At times, they did this so they could match the standards of beauty in human societies. Both genders of dwarf were seen to hang gems or gold ornaments on their beards.
 * Lythari typically dressed in a similar manner regardless of sex.
 * Among the Nubari, the men of the Koshiva tribe shaved their hair while women were forbidden from doing so. They even considered it bad luck for a woman to shave a Koshiva male's head. Koshiva women wore elaborate ornaments to raise their hair into tall coifs.
 * The Reigar, a race of androgynous spacefaring humanoids, attached no gender distinctions to dress, makeup, and hairstyling.
 * Strongheart halflings of both genders tended to grow sideburns down to the mid-cheek and plaited them into long braids.
 * Triton males kept their hair short, while females let it grow long, though both genders were known to braid their hair.

Faerûn
In east Faerûn, the nation of Mulhorand, for much of its history, was patriarchal in nature and had encoded in its inheritance laws that the first son of a family would be the one to inherit two-thirds of a family's property with the second son getting the remainder. But by 1372 DR, under the reign of Horustep III, its laws started enforcing equality between the sexes.

In the Moonsea lands of north Faerûn, the nobility and wealthy merchants of the city-state of Mulmaster expected women to wear the skimpier fashions they managed to obtain from warmer lands to the south. To compensate for this, women grew their hair out long, wore huge fur cloaks, and silk under-robes lined with cotton.

In northeast Faerûn, the nation of Rashemen was, on its surface, a society that seemed patriarchal to outsiders and was ruled by a powerful male warrior called the Iron Lord. But in actuality, the nation was a magocratic matriarchy, wherein the true rulers&mdash;the Wychlaran or "Witches of Rashemen"&mdash;chose men for the position of Iron Lord in order to deal with questions of daily rulership and command their armies. The native humans of this land, the Rashemaar, all viewed themselves as warriors regardless of their gender and were allowed to participate in the same vigorous activities. Women were also taught to fight and properly wield weapons.

In northwest Faerûn, there was relatively good social standing between men and women. This was especially true of the port-city Luskan, where men and women had equal standing in society. Elsewhere in that region of Faerûn, the city of Waterdeep was accepting of all gender identities and the Kryptgarden Forest was home to a matriarchal clan known as the Enclave Panax Anima.

In southeast Faerûn, the nation of Dambrath was a matriarchy during the reign of the Crinti.

In the Vilhon Reach region of interior Faerûn, the Shining Plains women typically had a domestic role in life, but were free to pursue any profession except politics, and marriages were viewed as equal partnerships. By 1370 DR, there were increasingly calls for women to be allowed into politics and sages speculated that women would gain the right within a few years. On the small isle of Ixinos there lived an amazon-style culture where women were trained almost from their birth to fight.

In west Faerûn, the nation of Calimshan was notorious for its active support of sexism, having codified gender divisions and women occupying a lesser status in society. It was difficult for Calishite men to accept women in positions of authority and they only allowed them in roles traditionally seen as masculine under extreme circumstances, such as in the criminal underworld or as slave gladiators. From the perspective of the people of northwest Faerûn, or "Northerners," the Calishite treatment of women was inhumane, and was a frequent source of conflict between the cultures.

Calishite women were expected to maintain the home, raise children, and manage funds. Unlike men, they were allowed to marry above their social class, but disgrace would befall any woman who failed to get married five years after reaching the age of maturity. Such a failure would lead to them being either banished from their household, living disgracefully with their parents, sent away to a foreign land, or simply disowned. In terms of clothing, when women were allowed outside the home they wore clothing reminiscent of the Zakharans who long ago settled Calimshan &mdash; either a cotton caftan and veil or a chador, the latter being a full body robe with a hood and face-covering.

Hordelands
The various indigenous, nomadic human tribes of the Hordelands lived with equality between men and women. Men generally served as leaders and warriors, while women served in domestic roles, though it was not unknown for women to take up such roles and women warriors especially were treated as equals. Children of both genders were taught at a young age the art of archery. And divorces, though frowned upon, could be initiated by either spouse.

Kara-Tur
Women were afforded many liberties in the Plain of Horses. There they were allowed to hold government, own property (though neither men nor women could own land), choose their own spouse, have affairs without legal repercussion, and inherit property passed down to them. Some tribes in the region preferred female rulers. And whenever a child was born, it was always raised by its mother's family without concern for the father's identity.

By contrast, women in Wa had a lesser status then men, being unable to divorce their husbands and expected to submit to men. Men were taught from a young age to respect and not mistreat them.

Maztica
Most of the native human societies of Maztica had patriarchal structures, with the most patriarchal of all being the nation of Huacli.

By contrast, the Dog People of northern Maztica and the Payit people had fairly equal societies, with the latter being accepting of women in positions of power and the former allowing women to serve as warriors.

Zakhara
Generally, gender did not affect one's station in life in Zakhara. It was believed that the rise of the Enlightenment faith and the establishment of the Grand Caliphate resulted in greater equality of opportunity in the land, especially for women. Women could own and maintain land grants, choose to serve in armed forces (but were not subject to drafts), and could hold positions of power such as generals, emiras, sultanas, viziers, and even the position of caliph. Some groups and fellowships excluded women from their membership, but many others in Zakhara welcomed both men and women. Women could even take up lives as artisans, assassins, mercenaries, and merchants. One of the few positions in Zakhara never occupied by a woman in its history was that of the Grand Caliph and some men were reluctant to see such a change come about.

In terms of marriage, if a woman was capable of making her own living prior to marriage the law considered her to be a separate legal entity and she could hold property apart from her husband. However, if a woman was dependent upon her spouse then legally she had to share any property she attained during the marriage, with the sole exception being anything she brought with her into the marriage. When it came to divorce, in the time prior to the Enlightenment a man could just declare a divorce at any time they desired. Following the rise of the Enlightenment and Grand Caliphate, in order for a couple to divorce either both parties had to agree to the split or one had to inquire with a judge to make such a ruling.

A good deal of pre-Enlightenment customs that were rooted in more traditional gender roles still persisted under the Grand Caliphate. For example, all homes had separate quarters for men and women, which could vary from a simple room with a tapestry hung over the door or an entire separate complex like in the Palace of the Grand Caliph, and women were often the target of blame for dishonorable acts. Historically, women who lived a nomadic life (the Al-Badia) had more freedom and equality with men, owing to their shared impoverished lifestyle, than those women who lived in cities (the Al-Hadhar). However, such freedoms were gradually becoming a part of life for the Al-Hadhar and some Al-Badian tribes did practice having separate quarters for men and women within their tents.

In terms of clothing, veils were a common article of clothing for women, especially in settlements, though there were many exceptions to this to the trend of veiling. In the city of Umara for example, where women walked around unveiled in most dress and long braided hair. And in some places, like the city of Ajayib, both men and women were known to wear veils, though there it was a matter of personal choice. In the Corsair Domains, men and women typically dressed in a similar fashion of light-weight cotton blouses and pantaloons. Women in this region weren't obligated to wear veils, only doing so if they desired or needed to protect themselves from the elements. Such fashion was also typical of women in the port city of Sikak.

In some areas the choice of clothing was for religious reasons. While among the Cities of the Pantheon, both men and women would dress in such a way that their faces were covered while in public, with women typically donning chadors.

In Al-Badian tribes, men and women roughly dressed in the same sort of clothing, that being abas, a keffiyeh with an agal, and trousers. What separated the fasion of Al-Badian women from men was their bright colors, cosmetics, decorative henna, and tattoos. Though there were a few tribes who chose to hide the features of their women behind dark, heavy masks.