Lilarcor

Lilarcor is a sword in the Baldur's Gate II: Shadows of Amn computer role-playing game. As an enchanted talking sword, it serves as a comic relief, with its various wisecracking comments, as well as its insatible thirst for blood, battle, and glory. Its backstory refers to an exceptionally stupid man named Lawrence Lilarcor who once fought an "epic" battle against a tree he thought to be an evil treant; it is said to be suspected, but not confirmed, that his spirit has been transferred into the sword.

According to the Gamespy interview, Minsc has said that his preferred weapon is one that actually enjoys fighting evil as much as Minsc, Lilarcor (although Lilarcor simply enjoys fighting, period).

Lilarcor will only talk if he is wielded by a character, or alternately if a character asks him for advice. It is voiced by Jason Marsden.

Lilarcor can be found in the sewers of Athkatla, in a section accessed from the Copper Coronet (or the slaver compound in the slums). It is found after solving a riddle whose creator is not made clear.

Quotes
Normal quotes

'I may be an intelligent sword, but I've had no formal edumication.'

'Can we go kill something now, huh?'

'How about now? No?'

'Come on let's kill something NOW!'

'mmmm.... now?'

'What about now?'

'Now? Please? Pretty please?'

'I don't know what you were expecting, but as a sword I'm pretty one-dimensional in what I want.'

'Can we go whack something now?'

'Let's whack something eeeeevvvvillllll....'

'Why don't we go kill that over there?'

'You know, I was a Moonblade once.'

'You really need to clean me. I like to shine!'

'Are we going to kill something now, maybe? Huh?'

'You know, my last owner always said I was sharp and edgy. He was such an ass.'

'I don't chop wood. I am not an axe.'

'Now! Now! Kill something now!! Yeah!'

'Booooo-ring!'

'(sigh)'

'(double sigh)'

'Wanna go kill that over there? C'mon, let's kill somthin'!'

Combat quotes

'You deal, I'll cut!'

'Let's see what's inside this one! Yeah!'

'Come get some! Boo-yah!'

'Choke up, dolt, your grip is all wrong!'

'Hands up, kiddies, who wants to die?!'

'Mmmm... tastes like chicken!'

'Sissy fighter! You grab, I'll scratch!'

'Muwahahaha-ha-ha!!'

'You can't be serious!'

'Ooo, that'll leave a mark!'

'Murder! Death!! KILL!!!'

'Who's your daddy!'

'We got a gusher!'

'Are YOU talking to ME?!!'

'Some of my finest work!'

'I'm the best at what I do, and what I do ain't pretty!'

'Yeah! Hit it! Hit it again!'

'I am invincible! Invincible, I say!'

'Wouldn't it be cool if you could dual-wield me?'

'YOINK! Got yer nose!'

'My brother is a +12 Hackmaster!'

'I love the smell of daisies in the morning!'

'Swing harder! Swing harder!!'

'Bring 'em on! I ain't done!'

'Oh yeah!'

'Let's dance!'

'Kill it! Kill it quick before they're all gone!'

'Kill kill kill! Yeah! Cool!!'

'...and this one's for grandma, who said I'd never amount to anything more than a butterknife!!'

'Hot butta!'

'You feel lucky, punk?'

'Oooh, I'm shaking! Haha!'

'Oooh, throw a coin in that fountain! Hahaha!'