Gender and sex

Work In Progress

Gender and sex, terms that could at times be used interchangeably without representing a clear conceptual difference, referred respectively to the social and biological differences between males and females. Or more accurately in the case of gender, masculinity and femininity. However, gender and sex being binary was not a steadfast rule. There were a range of identities that didn't correspond to this binary notion.

Gender
Some individuals, like the herbalist Fala Lefaliir, did not identify as either male or female.

For some individuals, their sex and gender did not align, making them feel uncomfortable with their own body or trapped within it. Such individuals were referred to on another world as being transgender, while in the Realms they were called alun in Elvish, dezek in Orcish, jertrut in Jotun, thoulal in Gnomish, thulol in Dwarvish, urdesk in Goblin, and zalshaer in Halfling.

Transgender individuals typically sought out methods by which to change their biological sex. Such a thing had no stigma surrounding it and those in this state of gender transitioning were referred to in Common as poised Western Heartlands and the Sword Coast, as well as along their trade routes to Chessenta and Sembia. An individual might achieve this change by using magic or (if not gifted in the art) hiring a wizard praying to the gods for a body transformation, or a magic item like the girdle of masculinity/femininity. Those who finished transitioning were sometimes referred to in Common as sildur.

Biological Sex
Some creatures were noted as being able to switch their sex at a whim, such as kobolds, verdans, and yugoloths. Such creatures lacked assigned gender roles in their societies. And yugoloths only identified as a gender depending upon the situation they were in.

Other creatures in the Realms were noted as being sexless, such as choldriths, driders, mindflayers, and most constructs like the warforged. Though being sexless biologically did not preclude such creatures from personally identifying in a social sense as one. Warforged for example were known to adopt and identify as certain genders. Choldriths chose to identify as female, in reverence to their goddess Lolth. And in rare circumstances, a creature that had underwent ceremorphosis might retain enough of their memories to identify as their former gender, such as the mindflayer Vestress.

Some species were "hermaphroditic", meaning both biologically male and female. These included aboleths, haundar, leeches and giant leeches, lock lurkers, mortiss, piercers, starsnakes, tentamorts, webbirds, and wingless wonders.

Nagas and slaadi were also hermaphroditic species, yet for some reason other creatures tended to view and refer to them as being either male or female.

Personal Pronouns
Individuals that identified as male or female were typically referred to by the terms "he" and "him" or "she" and "her" respectively. Those who identified as neither male nor female would request of others to refer to them as "they." And creatures of a collective consciousness, such as cranium rats, might refer to themselves with collective pronouns like "we" and "us".

In Societies In General
For most societies in the Realms, there was no bias of role on the basis of sex or gender. Many societies tended to have women occupy a domestic role, though people exhibited little to no resistance when a woman chose to occupy a position of leadership or sought to become a proficient magic-user. Though (depending on the species) some professions were more common among certain sexes due to the body weight and strength that was involved, such as smithing.

Cultures where there was equality among the sexes looked down upon those who believed one should oppress the other.

Clothing
Some individuals in the Realms presented themselves as the other sex, dressing in clothing usually associated with the opposite gender, like the beautician Talessyr Tranth. Such people were referred to in Common as saece.

Languages

 * Ti was a genderless term in Thieves' cant that could refer to a man, woman, or other.
 * The holy warriors, outcast thieves, nomadic bards, and idol priests of Zakhara were generally known by the gender-neutral Midani terms faris, matrud, rawun, and kahin respectively. Though there did exist less commonly used, feminine versions for each in the form of farisa, matruda, rawuna, and kahina.

Titles of Address
There were a variety of titles used to refer to people regardless of their gender. These included the following:
 * The druid, warlock, and wizard forms of spellcaster were all typically referred to by those titles regardless of their sex or gender. With "wizardess" only being used in ancient titles. Though it was not uncommon for people to see a female sorcerer referred to as a "sorceress".
 * When someone addressed a wizard of uncertain skill they used the term "Master of the Art" regardless of their sex or gender. While those known to be of a low skill were referred to as hedge wizards.
 * The title of "Grand Duke" among the Council of Four in Baldur's Gate was a genderless honorific.
 * The Red Wizards were addressed by the people of Thay as "Master" regardless of their sex or gender.

Religions
Deities were typically portrayed or believed by their followers to be male, female, or sexless. For example, the major members of the Halfling pantheon were female. And the gnome deity Urdlen was a sexless god, but often referred to as a he. Deities themselves often preferred one gender over others, but could manifest as any. Even Lolth could be seen manifesting as either sex.

Elves (with the exception of drow) often looked down upon those who believed their god to be of only one sex, viewing it as a narrow mindset to quantify gods in mortal terms. In turn, all members of the Elven pantheon were represented in art by both male and female forms. For example, in Cormanthor, there were statues of the Seldarine in either both their male and female forms or in a single androgynous form.

When it came to clergy, most religions allowed individuals of any gender to become members, though some only allowed those of a particular gender. Due to long standing traditions the Dwarven faiths, up until the Time of Troubles, required priests to be the same gender as the Dwarven deity they served. This practice ceased following that event, though priests of the opposite gender were likely to receive some resentment. The churches of Marthammor and Thard Harr were exceptions to this, having broken from the tradition long before the Time of Troubles. And in the nation of Wa, monasteries generally only allowed men, with Nakamura being a notable exception to this rule.

Faiths generally used the word "priest" as a gender-neutral term, while "priestess" was used when a clergy consisted of only women, and when addressing a cleric of uncertain rank people would use the terms "Avowed" or "Devout." The Church of Deneir was one such faith to use the term "priest" regardless of gender. Specialty priests more often had gendered terms, though some churches had genderless ones. Such as the Dreadmasters of the Church of Bane, the Doommasters of the Church of Beshaba, the Joybringers of the Church of Lliira, and the Stormlords of the Church of Talos.

Some churches, while allowing a mix of genders in their clergy, had segregated ceremonies. For example, the Church of Lolth performed private ceremonies behind closed doors in which men were not allowed, but its public ceremonies allowed both men and women. In that female dominated society, the Church of Vhaeraun stood out as advocates of the drow creating a society of equality between the sexes on the surface. Others had women live in separate quarters, such as the Strong Claw Monastery, or in entirely separate buildings or temples, such as the Moralist faith.

Some faiths had priestly vestments differ depending upon a priest's sex. For example, the Church of Sune had men wear robes and women wear habits, both dyed crimson. While the Church of Beshaba had male priests wear robes of crimson and female priests wear robes of black, mauve, and purple.

Lamas, the religious leaders of the Plain of Horses, could be either male or female. Though in the city of Li-Raz, who sought to curb the growth of lamas, encoded in their laws that a male lama could not speak to women in public.

Among Demihumans and Humanoids

 * Aquatic elves had largely patriarchal societies, though women held considerable influence, particularly among their clerics and wizards.
 * Cyclopskin had patriarchal societies, where women were expected to be subservient to men.
 * Deep gnomes had a strict division of labor among gender lines.
 * Devils had no conception of gender, but were likely to adopt a gendered appearance that conformed to what a mortal expected, especially devils that were known to mortals like the Lords of the Nine Hells.
 * Drow, specifically the udadrow, lived in a militaristic matriarchal society influenced by the Church of Lolth's dogma in which men were largely considered worthless. The army of most drow cities were segregated.
 * Dwarven society had equal rights in both family and clan for all sexes and genders. Notably, adventuring was once almost exclusively the providence of male dwarves, but over time female dwarves became involved in the activity. By the 14th century DR women had achieved equal opportunities and status in dwarven society. By that time one could find all-male, all-female, and mixed bands of adventuring dwarves.
 * Among frost giants there was no societal distinction made between men and women, with both being viewed equally under the ordning and the elderly of both handling child rearing.
 * Goliaths viewed men and women as equal in all things and did not tie birth names to sex. They were puzzled by and mocked societies that had gender roles.
 * Green elf villages were often segregated. How such villages were governed between matriarchal, patriarchal, or a shared sense of responsibility and rulership between the sexes.
 * Kir-lanan made no social distinctions between sexes.
 * Tinker gnome society was noted as having equality among the sexes.

Among Humans
Humans typically seemed to provide equal chances to both males and females, though this could vary depending upon the ethnic group. Among the Bedine tribes of Anauroch for instance, men generally had more freedom than women.

It was permissible in Bedine society for men to closely approach women of another family, though it was considered "brazen" for women to do the same, even when riding a camel. Women were not permitted to speak privately with men of another family and marriages were arranged by fathers, though most tribes gave daughters the right to veto marriage choices. And Bedine women who wielded magic were viewed as threats to the social order. Altogether, this left some women among the Bedine to desire greater independence and rumors circulated of tribes that were run by women or composed entirely of them.

During the 14 century DR, the Northlanders of the Moonshae Isles generally restricted their women from meeting with strangers. Nor did they normally allow women to fish or join in raids.

In the Great Glacier, the Nakulutiuns held all sexes in equality status and the Iulutiuns had no fixed gender roles, though men often tended to hunting while women raised children.

The wu-haltai of the Northern Wastes were a fairly egalitarian people. In their culture women were consulted in all manners, but rarely played a leading role beyond that of a shaman.

Clothing

 * Abas were worn by all members of Bedine tribes, though women were made to cover their faces, with the exception of when alone with themselves or their spouse. The wearing of a veil for women in these tribes began at the onset of puberty, though sometimes earlier. An exception to this was the tribes that dwelled in the eastern central stretches of the Sword, as among them women went without veils and men covered their faces with scarves.
 * Male and female dwarves often dressed in a similar manner of dress and had a similar tone of voice. This was especially true of arctic dwarves and wild dwarves. However, shield dwarf women, especially if burly and bearded, often dressed and acted like males when outdoors in human cities with the intention of passing themselves off male. This was due to them tending to garner better treatment than visibly female dwarves.
 * Lythari typically dressed in a similar manner regardless of sex.
 * The Reigar, a race of androgynous spacefaring humanoids, attached no gender distinctions to dress, makeup, and hairstyling.

Hair

 * Both genders among the gold dwarves, shield dwarves, and urdunnir grew their hair out long,  often elaborately braided in the case of gold dwarves,  and if they were capable of growing one a woman had no societal expectation to shave it.
 * Both genders among all dwarves regularly oiled, trim, perfumed, or shaved their beards, though shaving was most common among female dwarves. And were seen to hang gems or gold ornaments on their beards.
 * Strongheart halflings of both genders tended to grow sideburns down to the mid-cheek and plaited them into long braids.
 * Triton males kept their hair short, while females let it grow long. Though genders were known to braid their hair.

Faerûn

 * In the nation of Calimshan gender divisions were codified and women had a lesser status in society. Like anyone else who tried living outside of their station, they risked death or enslavement for not doing so.
 * The residents of Luskan held men and women as being equal in social standing.
 * The nation of Mulhorand, for much of its history, was patriarchal in nature and had encoded in its inheritance laws that the first son of a family would be the one to inherit two-thirds of a family's property and the second son getting the remainder. But by 1372 DR, under the reign of Horustep III, its laws started enforcing equality between the sexes.
 * In the city-state of Mulmaster, people often expected women to wear the skimpier fashions of warmer lands. To compensate for this, women wore huge fur and silk under-robes lined with cotton.
 * Rashemen was a magocratic gynarchy.
 * In the Shining Plains women typically had a domestic role in life, but were free to pursue any profession except politics and marriages were viewed as even partnerships. By 1370 DR there were increasingly calls for women to be allowed into politics and sages speculated that women would gain the right within a few years.

Hordelands
The various indigenous, nomadic human tribes of the Hordelands lived with equality among men and women. Men generally served as leaders and warriors, while women served in domestic roles, though it was not unknown for women to take up such roles and women warriors especially were treated as equals. Children of both genders were taught at young age the art of archery and divorces (though frowned upon) could be initiated by either spouse.

Kara-Tur
Women were afforded many liberties in the Plain of Horses. There they were allowed to hold government, own property (but neither men nor women could own land), choose their own spouse, have affairs without legal repercussion, and property inheritance passed down through them. Some tribes in the region preferred female rulers. And whenever a child was born, it was always raised by its mother's family without concern for the father's identity.

By contrast, women in Wa had a lesser status then men, being unable to divorce their husbands and expected to submit to men. And men were taught from a young age to respect and not mistreat them.

Maztica
Most of the native human societies of Maztica had patriarchal structures, with the most patriarchal of all being the nation of Huacli.

By contrast, the Dog People of northern Maztica and the Payit people had a fairly equal societies, with the latter being accepting of women in positions of power and the former allowing women to serve as warriors.

Zakhara
Generally, gender did not affect one's station in life in Zakhara. However, women were often the target of blame for dishonorable acts, all homes had separate quarters for them, and those who lived a nomadic life had more freedom than those who lived in cities.

In terms of clothing, women in Zakhara generally wore veils, especially in settlements. Women in regions controlled by the Moralist faith commonly wore full-body robes, known as chador, and in such regions barbers were required to only offer their services to those of the same gender. A few tribes went so far as to have women hide their features behind dark, heavy masks.

Trivia
Assassins were often skilled at disguising themselves as the opposite sex.