Old Pappa Floonbat's Patent Medicinal Hair Restorer

Old Pappa Floonbat's Patent Medicinal Hair Restorer was a common magical ointment, patented in the Blade Kingdoms by its inventor, Old Pappa Floonbat sometime before 1217 DR. "Um… look, Tekoriikii, I know what it says on the bottle, but I don't think it quite works the way you think..."

- Lorenzo Utrelli Da Lomatra

Description
Each bottle of the patent medicine came with instructions written on its label. The bottle was to be shaken vigorously, then generously splashed onto bald spots and gently massaged in.

Old Pappa Floonbat's Patent Medicinal Hair Restorer likely did not work on feathers, and most definitely did not grow back tailfeathers on an embarrassingly plucked firebird's backside.

Appearances

 * Novels
 * The Council of Blades