User:Lhynard/Characters/Brace/Journal/02

 last eighthday of Summertide I killed someone yesterday, two people.

It would be easy to try to argue that they were not people, since they had yellowish skin and pointed ears and jagged teeth and barely passed my navel, but goblins have wives and families and jobs, do they not?

I would have expected to feel some regret or weight at taking life, but I feel no such thing. It is not just the fact that I was enraged when I did it, that I was trying to save my brother's life and those of the others in the caravan. No, I am not angry now; I have simply become immune to the shock of death. The blood, how was it any different than the oil of vitriol or liquid silver that I have bottled in Luth's laboratory? It is but a liquid made from the elements like all else; why should seeing it seep from a forehead as I remove my dagger mean anything to me? They tried to raid us; they died, as all persons do, and better that they die than us.

But is it better? Is it better to be alive? Why did I not simply let them take me, take us? Would that not be a faster way to join my Kethra? I cannot explain it, but still some part of me wants to go on, and I do not want to go on alone.

Korr is very shaken. He feels that the Broken God continues to abandon him, and I cannot blame him, for I agree. I tried to encourage him. Were it not for the power of his prayer at the beginning of the battle, never would I have left the wagon to fight. I envy his bravery, even in the midst of his doubts and anger.

He thinks that I played a greater role than I did, said that it reminded him of Mother. Pity I did not inherit her magical talents.

The small group of us who partook in the fighting to defend the caravan now find ourselves about to embark on a little mission together, at the request of Blaz. Three of the group seem already to have adventuring experience, but none of us are trackers. Two of them forced one of the goblin survivors to spill something about a "pit of death". Once packed, we shall head back up the road whither we were ambushed, thence to attempt to track the sole fleeing goblin whence he came, to find this pit.

Gwaeron bless our efforts. ~Brace