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Golden pantaloons were enchanted pants of supreme quality and exquisite taste, worn only by the noblest of nobles, that could be used to created the Big Metal Unit set of magical plate mail.[2]

Pantaloons of a quality heretofore unseen by the eyes of either man or beast. Dynamic styling and comfort that cradles, cuddles, and coddles. Seduce your thighs, cajole your calves; enjoy Golden Pantaloons... TODAY! Trousers you would be proud to take home to mother, if mother rode fast and fought hard.
— As overheard in Baldur's Gate[2].

Description[]

Golden pantaloons were just that, pantaloons of supreme quality, weaved out of gold. The pants had comfortable padding and a codpiece.[2]

Powers[]

The golden pantaloons possessed certain "uplifting" qualities, be it via masterful crafting or some obscure enchantment. Bits of the people who wore these pantaloons appeared to defy gravity with no gussets sewn into the fabric. This flattering shaping was applied to both the frontside and backside of the wearer or any sex. The side effect of this magic was likely to boost the wearer's self-esteem. Some believed that wearing these pants could hamper the mental capacities of the wearer, making them overly confident and delusional over the improved appealing curvature of their backsides.[2]

History[]

A pair of these mysterious golden pantaloons was created in Calimshan where they were hand-weaved in the course of twelve days and four nights by fifteen women and a young boy.[2]

In 1368 DR, a pair of golden pantaloons was in possession of an unnamed pompous nobleman guest of the Friendly Arm inn in the Western Heartlands not far from the city of Baldur's Gate. The nobleman mistakingly gave the pantaloons away to Abdel Adrian, mistaking him for the cleaning servant of the inn. The pantaloons were sought after as Abdel was later accosted by a rogue known as Mr. Shade in Baldur's Gate's Splurging Sturgeon who attempted to retrieve or even steal the gilded clothing.[2]

Later that year Kerrick the Smith from Amkethran used the famous golden, silver, and less impressive bronze pantalettes, that Abdel Adrian somehow collected through his adventures, to recreate Big Metal Unit, a fabled suit of heavy armor once worn by Pantagruel, son of Gargantua.[2]

In the years that followed after the Spellplague of 1385 DR1395 DR, golden pantaloons were reportedly seen worn by the devotees of Waukeen in Neverwinter.[1]

Reputation[]

Throughout history, many accords of "trousers that were as metal, though soft around the shanks" were encountered. Some thought the gold pantaloons saw the beginnings of Toril. The same sages stressed that the gold pantaloons indeed could not "see" through any eyes that sprouted through these marvelous pants, nor did they have hidden teeth nor appendages inappropriate for pants of such stature. Many owners of these pantaloons testified just that.[2]

A set of metal trousers, possibly another pair of gold pantaloons was mentioned in ancient lyrics that dated back to the age of Netheril. Many sages were sure that the songs did not speak of the same pair appearing through history. Some of these mentions could be attributed to other metal garments of fame, such as silver pantalets once mentioned by Pantechnicon in the history of an ancient bazaar. Some could even be referring to nickel panties available through establishments of ill-repute alongside many docks of the Realms.[2]

Appendix[]

See Also[]

  • Breeches
  • Bronze pantalettes
  • Silver pantaloons

Appearances[]

Video Games
Baldur's GateBaldur's Gate II: Shadows of AmnBaldur's Gate II: Throne of BhaalNeverwinter

References[]

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